don't these things ever give up?

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Posted by tami ( on July 11, 2001 at 03:51:52:

First, let me say thanks to those of you who wrote in response to my last post. In it I asked for some help with my impending medical leave, and the fight to collect disability that was surely coming. I have taken the time, despite not knowing about the disability, but so far it is a huge disappointment. My headaches must surely be among the strangest I have heard about. While many of you here advise exercise, I have found that the least bit of overexertion can set off a bout of clusters that lasts for days. Case in point, I took my son to Seaworld for the 4th of July, tryiing to hold up the facade of normalcy once again. We walked several miles, and I was pleased that I was able to spend the entire day with him, up to and including the fireworks. Yes, I had several headaches while there, but bless his heart, my son is good about them, not too overanxious, nor too aloof. Mostly tho, we had a terrific time together. What I can't quite come to grips with, is the last several days since then. I generally get between 4-6 headaches any given day, but usually only 1 or 2 is anywhere near a 10. During the day, with medication, they are mostly 4's and 5's, until recently allowing me to work. Since the trip to Seaworld, and overexerting myself, I am having around 8 headaches a day, more severe than usual, to the point where I haven't been able to shower, I am just too sore to bear the water running over me. I got a break today, I had forgotten how wonderful a few hours of no pain is, but I am right back there tonight. The Seaworld trip aside, it seems to me that every time I get these damn things to the point where I feel I can live with them, they change. Does this happen to everyone else? Many of you have suggested the mushrooms to me, and I am nearly despeate enough to try them, but I am more than a little apprehensive about it. I had a very nasty experience along those lines as a teenager. Still, I am back at the point I need to do something. I still have all the links bookmarked, just in case. I guess I just need to vent. I live alone with my 15 year old son, and do notlike to remind him how much his life has changed with mine. A little over a year ago, I still had a job I enjoyed, s great kids (still do, but one is at college) and a husband to take care of me when I could not) Now it is just me and him. I am currently on a leave of absence, contemplating my next step. I don't know how I can decide if I'm unable to go back to work. That sound stupid, but you all know that we get periods of time where we feel almost "normal" again. Does that mean I should try to work? Or just try to rest and gather my strength?

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