Posted by lc nancy on May 14, 1999 at 17:13:12:
hey all - got 2 for ya. a quickie and some terrific Will Rogers material.
Hercules, Snow White and Quasimoto were all having lunch together.
Hercules said, "I have always thought that I'm the strongest man in the world, but how can I be sure?"
Snow White agreed. "I'm told I'm the fairest of them all, but sometimes I wonder."
Quasimoto said, "I'm pretty sure I'm the ugliest human alive but I've never had it confirmed."
They all decided that the best way to find out if their beliefs were true was to pray about it that night and ask God to confirm for them whether Hercules was the strongest, Snow White was the fairest and Quasimoto was the ugliest human alive. They agreed to meet again the next day for lunch to discuss their findings.
The next day Hercules walked up with a smile. "Well, it's true. God told me that I am the strongest man in the world."
Snow White perked up and said, "And I now know for sure that I'm the fairest for God confirmed it."
But Quasimoto lifted his sad face and said, "Who is Linda Tripp?"
The Wisdom Of Will Rogers
Don't squat with your spurs on. (especially applicable when doing the CH waltz)
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. (as Kip and the Rotweiler can attest *g*)
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacca.
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Never miss a good chance to shut up. (i think Will was talkin' to ME here!)
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
... just to tide us over till Nancy's back!
-lcb