Posted by Jim Ambrose on May 29, 1999 at 07:11:01:
In Reply to: CH's and work posted by Rick B on May 28, 1999 at 14:04:36:
Rick,
I feel for you buddy. I lost a pension from the Navy after 17 years 362 days of active duty. 3 days short of being eligible for L5 duty (lets you stay active till you reach 20 years so you can retire). Life isn't fair. I was (still am)very very bitter. Turned out to be a blessing. I was forced to take control. Clusters could no longer control my life. I am one of the fortunate ones that Oxygen works for. I bought O2 tanks of various sizes 2 small ones for the motorcycle, a larger one for the car/truck a very large one for home that I use to fill the others. I have become very good at making sure my O2 is available. When I can't have it with me I scope out the first aid facilities for where I am planning to go. Stadiums, fair grounds etc. all have O2 at aid stations, so do schools and fire stations. Airplanes have it too although reluctant to let you use it, a full blown cluster is scary enough for them to give it up.(Air travel always brings a cluster for me). On business trips I call ahead to an oxygen supplier fax them the script and have a portable O2 bottle waiting in the hotel when I get there. I even was able to take a one week Alaska cruise because my wife made arrangements and there was an "H" size tank in our stateroom when we arrived on board. I work as a computer network analyst and have recently changed jobs to work in a hospital. Lower pay but with the proximity of O2 I feel less threatened that the clusters will cause me to lose time at work.
Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to make a point. You can take charge of your life. You have to. Once I decided I was going to control them and they werent going to control me, that feeling of helpleness, dispare, and depression left too. I depend on me not doctors to help me lead a normal life. Taking control and responsibility for my situation was the best medicine for me.
I know Rick everyone is different, nothing works for everyone but that helpless feeling is the worst. Find what works for you be creative in controling the attacks and take charge. The clusters still come, it still hurts like hell but WE are not helpless.
Be strong, at least you know we here at this board understand. I hope the above helps.
Remission for all!