Posted by Sue K on July 09, 1998 at 17:51:47:
In Reply to: Re: Fear,anxiety,and desperation posted by Julie on July 08, 1998 at 11:16:37:
Julie,
I just read your post and I can certainly relate to what you are saying,,,,especially the part about the burden and not the parent, I too have 3 sons,,the youngest is now 15, the other 2 are basically out of the house but have had tolearn through the years that when these things come I become basically nonfunctional.
Add to that the emotional fear and anxiety of waiting to be slammed with the next bout of unbearable pain, not knowing when or where it's going to hit and yes, we do become more than a little nurotic and rightfully so. I just had my husband say to me when the last two h/a's came..."what triggered that one" and all I
could say in response was that I couldn't believe he even was saying that to me after all these years.
I managed to get through the first 7 weeks of this round with prednisone in addition to the lithium and verapamil that I take on a daily basis which allowed me to go on our family vacation..however upon tapering off the pred on our return,,when I thought these things were going away, it seems that they were actually coming
back and worse than in the beginning,,(I knew I was getting off too easy) so now it's 3-4 a day and it's been 2 weeks with med changes and you know the story,,just waiting for something to finally work of for the damn things to finally be done with me for this round. In the meantime I don't venture far from home and almost
never do I go alone for fear I'll get one and have to suffer in the car. The imitrex works great sometimes but then other times it doesn't work as well and just takes the edge off.
The scary part for me is that about 10 years ago I had a panic/anxiety disorder that made me incapable of leaving my bed, much less my house for well over 3 months and when these things happen it's too close of a reminder of that time in my life. Are you still able to work during this time? I can't, mine come at all times so
it makes it impossible for me to even go to work for some sort of reality. I sell real estate, can you imagine me having people out looking at houses and getting one of these things,,they would be running for the hills thinking I was dying or something.,these main reason I do this job now is because of these h/a's,,I already
lost 2 others from "not being able to perform with a headache",,,no one but the ones that walk in our shoes will EVER understand the pain we endure. I thank God for this site and DJ for taking the time and effort to make it...it has been a real help to me this time,,just to know there are others out there that understand. We
all are unfortunately in the same boat but at least now I don't feel quite so much like it's sinking.
The heartbreaking part to me right now is that my 15 year old son is right now laying on the couch with an ice pack on his face for the "pain in his left eye" that he has been getting off and on now for about 6 months. Being a parent and wanting to be able to help them with any and all types of pain but knowing that if he's
getting these horrible headaches and there's nothing I can do will be one of the hardest things I've had to face so far. Hopefully it isn't the same thing but something deep down tells me he's inherited the supposedly (uninheridable) things from me.
Sorry I got a little long winded..just wanted to reach out and let you know I totally understand your feelings and should you ever need to email me feel free to do so, I will most certainly answer. keller1@ezaccess.net Hoping you're feeling a little better today and that you get a reprieve real soon from these horrible CH's.
Painless days to you,
Sue K