Posted by Bernadette (205.188.192.164) on June 25, 1999 at 14:45:05:
Well Family,
Yesterday I went to the doctors to get my Brain MRI done. My doctor called me today with such sorrow in her voice. She told me that they were looking for a bright glow in the MRI on the right side of my head. This is where the cluster usually bother me. Well instead she said that there was a hugh glow in the center of my brain and she just doesn't understand what it is. Well tomorrow I have to get my Spinal Cord MRIed and on July 7th I will be going in to get a spinal tap. Well the sound in her voice wasn' too pleasing when I kept asking her questions. Well here is what I guess worried me the most. When I went up to the hospital to get the prescription that she had to me the women who work in the hospital just looked at me with such sorry eyes. One of the women got up and gave me a hug and said why does it always happen to the good ones. Well this is what I am thinking, I have had a horrible childhood and teenage life. My young adult years were horrible. I have always been a happy go lucky person and always said that my happiness is within touch and all I have to do is take it. People have always taken my kindness for weakness but still I still find myself caring about everyone whom I come in contact with. I can truly say that I am one of those people that you would like to have in your life because I am loving, kind, generous, trustworthy, and a true person to have in your corner. I don't want anything from anyone just your kindness..........the same that I would give to you. So why do I have to go through this, everyone keeps telling me to be strong but I have so strong all my life that now I am extremely scared. I live and breathe for my husband and daughter and I know that they need me too. I live my life for them trying to give them a piece of paradise through me. I know that I have to have faith in God to know that he will pull me through but family I am so scared and I can't stop crying. I want to live my life to the fullest for my daughter and husband and for any future children that I may have. I truly need your prayers because in the Bible it says that if you pray in together and agree on the same thing that your prayers will be heard. Please CH family pray for me everyday when you take the time to talk to God and ask him to please make this something that can be taken care of with medicine. I know how much everyone here cares so I know that you will pray with all your hearts and souls. I have to be ok I just have to because I need to meet you all at the covention next year. My heart hurts so bad right now and I am so scared, so scared. I love you all.
Bernie