Posted by Bob Johnson (208.234.124.40) on July 19, 1999 at 10:49:32:
In Reply to: For CH sake stop the fighting posted by Tony Genovese on July 19, 1999 at 04:46:49:
"It's ridiculous that we should have to break ourselves of the habit of doing something that we can't do!" So says a character on an old BBC sitcom.
This fussing with the dogmatist or bigot is a hopeless enterprise for folks with these orientations take pride in their positions and erive power from frustrating those who would change them. For the dogmatist, offering an alternative viewpoint is to answer a question which they have not, perhaps cannot, ask: they can't receive. For the bigot, new perspectives which are inconsistent with their positions have to be rejected.
More importantly, these efforts to change others divert us from our common purpose of mutual support and help. From the perspective of "intelligent selfishness", this struggle increases personal distress. It's a hopeless enterprise, breeding frustration and anger--because we do not have the power to change another person.
The second issue in the messages this week: should we help those with migraine. How can we not? We have all be driven by pain to seek help, to find relief. And to the degree we have achieved anything, are we to withhold aid form a fellow sufferer?
The only issue is: how can we share without diluting the purposes of this site? The answer is, I suggest, easy. At the top of the home page, where the red banner says: this is for CH--you put a paragraph: "migraine suffer, this page has information which may mislead you. Migraine is not like CH. Here are some sites specifically aimed at your problem." Then list a few.
(Just reflect on the frustration and anger on these pages about docs who would not or could not help. If pain doesn't lead to compassion much of our pain has been a waste.)
Finally, it would help the tone if we could put a little postum not on the monitor which has Nietzsche's little observation, "This is my way. What is yours? As for the way, it does not exist."