Feeling "unworthy" of this site


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Posted by Cathy (24.92.249.31) on July 20, 1999 at 16:30:01:

I just had a nice long chat with drummer. I tried to explain to him that for a long while now, I have felt I don't deserve to be a part of this "family", as many have called it. I don't feel everyone else exceeds me. And I don't feel I am beneath anyone. I just seem to have many different experiences with my chs that cause me to wonder if I really need to visit as much as I do. However, I keep finding myself pulled back almost daily, trying to keep abreast of how everyone is doing and any new developments. I do not post often. Because of my personal situation, I, at most times, feel my experiences can't help anyone in the smallest way. I tread very lightly. Let me explain...

1. Doctors--I have a wonderful neuro who knew exactly what I was talking about and immediately diagnosed me. No tests, not a lot of questions....just finding the right meds to work for me. Any requests I have/had, he usually complied with.

2. Meds--I have had no problems with meds. Had to go through a few different ones to find the one that worked, but it was worth it. And didn't take long. o2 didn't work for me. Imitrex does. And lithium worked for me with few minor side effects.

3. ER--I did go to the Er this past Feb. Didn't have a problem. Only waited for about a 1/2 hour. They were very good to me. Gave me whatever I asked for (within reason). Not a hitch. I will state, however, that in '89, when I first got the chs, I didn't know what they were. We were living in Hawaii at the time and went to a military hospital. Because I didn't have a clue what was going on, it made it difficult for them. I was, however, seen quickly. I did not get "a fix", tho'.

4. Insurance--Not a problem. We've had 3 different insurances since I got these and I have never had a problem with getting meds, getting o2, with doctors, with anything.

5. Family--My husband and his family have been great. I couldn't ask for a better support system than what I have right here at home.

6. Job--No problems. Probably due to the fact that I missed little work because of the ch.

So, as I have said numerous times, I AM VERY LUCKY!!
But why do I find myself at the computer so often clicking on "favorites" and gettine ch.com? Can I contribute anything worthwhile to the rest of the "family"? Why does someone so fortunate find the need to see how others are doing? How does someone with such good omen share and support those who do not?? That is why I do not post often. I wish I could share my auspice with everyone. But then there would probably be no need for ch.com!

I will keep visiting and sharing what I think is of importance to you. Why? I can't answer that. Maybe you can.

Thanx for listening and a special thanx to Drummer for trying to understand my docile approach to the board, the ch family, and to him.

Cathy


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