Posted by Erik (18.104.22.168) on August 02, 1999 at 08:42:23:
In Reply to: Even 1's Are Killing Me posted by Amanda Best on August 02, 1999 at 07:57:56:
I am too far away to help you, but I dearly wish I could! I've had the same thing happen to me several times. Strong pain lasting for a long time will wear you down (5 months is too long). Some people can manage better than others. I am one of those who cannot. Should I be ashamed, feel weak? No, the reaction is more common than most people know - and not limited to CH. Most kinds of long-time pain will grind most people down, and make even lighter pain almost intolerable.
Another thing is the fear, which is a natural part of cluster. Sustained fear is just as debilitating as pain - soldiers in battle experience just that. It's not talked about much in military circles, but it is well known that 60 days of constant fear will break _everyone_. That means you are stronger than most soldiers - but I guess that fact is of little comfort to you.
What has helped me a bit is walking by the seaside or in the forests.
I fear for you. It will be impossible not to have you in my thoughts. If you think I can help in any way, I'm available on e-mail or ICQ.
Part of my heart goes out to you
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