Posted by Lars (22.214.171.124) on August 02, 1999 at 19:11:07:
What a day this day was...
Not so nice at all.
First I had a talk with my boss. She asked me if I already
thought about the time after the cycle is broken.
I am a civil servant (hope this is the right term) and
working for the city I live in. And there I am working
in the Department for the social welfare (You know, giving
money to people with no income, paying the rent and stuff
like that). I really love this work and I was eager to get
this cycle over with, so I could go back to my job.
The job brings quite some stress with it, but it really
is a job I enjoy. I was away from work for 4 months already
because of this friggin' neverending cycle. I fear I am
chronic again..... So I am going to a clinic specialized
in migraines and CHs......
But my boss, who was very supportive over the last months now
asked me to consider if I would not better change my
work. (Probably meaning to go to another department)
Luck me, I can not be fired as a civil servant here in
germany, if I do not something illegal or something like that.
So they have to keep me employed. But the thing I was looking
forward to is now almost not an option anymore.
My boss told me, that it would not be possible to cover
the time I might have clusters in the future because it is too
hard a time for the colleauges who would have to do my
work in the meantime.
It was quite a shock for me, but after thinking about it for
a while, I had no other choice than to agree with her.
I am a burden for the colleauges and that is something
I do not want.
So it seems I will have to adjust to it and switch to another
department and see that I get on with it.
After that I had the urge to go out and do a little shopping,
since I hoped that would help with the frustration I felt.
I bought me the whole stuff for building up a new and fast
computer. After a friend of mine assembled the whole components
(he is a computer wizard :) we started the system and
to install the software only to discover, that one of the parts
(we do not know what part) does not work.
So the whole system is not running and we have to carry the whole
stuff back to the shop tomorrow to find out, what is not working.
And I so desperatly wanted to watch my first DVD-Movie, since
I bought a DVD-Drive. Dang, this was the second disappointment this
Than I had to refill the water for the radiator in my car, since it is
leaking. Friggin' disappointment No. 3
When I came home I started my "old" computer only to find out that
the loudspeaker have given up their duty. So there is no sound anymore.
Meaning: No. 4
And now the demon is asking me for a dance.
Actually this is no surprise after this day, so I somehow expected it.
Maybe I would have been disappointed if the Beast would have spared me
Whew, after this venting I think I will try to go to bed and deny the
Demon it's dance with me, for the only good thing happening so far is,
that the attacks went from the 8ers and 9ers on the Kip Scale
to 5s and 4s.
Thank you for letting me vent a little.
Wishing you some better days and of course painfree times,
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