Posted by Barbara D. (205.188.199.56) on August 15, 1999 at 13:43:49:
As David Brinkley says, "Everyone is entitled to MY opinion!" So here it is:
For the past few weeks, this board has been changing and NOT for the good. Debates and Discussions ARE good. Worrying about what words to use are BAD!
It's gotten to the point that everyone is AFRAID to write what they think, because it MIGHT offend someone or it MIGHT not look good if someone (docs, drug cos. etc) comes to the board and sees that EVERYONE doesn't have the same opinion, so everyone seems to be "faking" it. Seems to me that we're loosing something very important with these 'stiffeled' posts - the WARMTH that has made this board what it is.
A lot of you have said, "I'm just not going to post anymore if I'm going to be abused." While I agree that we shouldn't get personal with our replies, we've always been honest (until recently). No, I don't agree with what everyone says and I'm sure you don't all agree with me and that's GOOD. Let's air our differences, but let's be honest.
We're getting a lot more posts than in the past. New people are finding this site daily and they're here for the same thing those of us who've been here since before dirt are here for - Support! Some of you have said this is a place for information and there's too much "huggy/mushy" stuff being posted. Well on this we disagree - the huggy mushy stuff has gotten me though a lot of bad times when all the technical information in the world was just words. Just knowing someone was on the other end that cared was what I needed - the technical stuff was for when I could think straight.
Some of you have stated that this "family" talk is a bunch of crock - we disagree on this point also. When I first found this site, I was in the pitts of hell and had a suicide all planned out. BUT, the "family" on this board (without knowing what I was planning because I never posted anything about what I was planning) gave me the support, love and yes, even insults, that gave me some hope and a will to go on. If those of you who feel the "family" stuff is crock because you don't feel part of the family, I'm sorry for you, but don't tell the rest of us it's bull because it's not - IT'S REAL!!
Yes, I sign my post with "hugs" and they're not fake, they are from the heart and I plan to continue to do so. If you don't like the humor on the board, don't read it - for some of us it's NECESSARY and very much appreciated.
I personally think, if an "outsider" came to this board right now, they'd probably see a "sterile" atmosphere and I'd suggest they go back a few weeks or months to see the REAL clusterheads and how we REALLY think and feel - squabbles and all. My God! If we have to watch every word we type to see how it will look to an outsider, then we're defeating the purpose of this board.
Those of you who feel that a CLIQUE controls the board - hogwash! Some of us have just been here a long time and YES, we do get personal. I want to know how Dave's kids are doing, or that Mike's daughter Elizabeth got a gold star in school today or that Heather has a new love in her life this week. Why? Because I'm interested and because I've gotten to know these people through this board and CONSIDER them family now. I want to be able to brag that my son got a plaque for 'Employee of the Month' and know that someone is interested. We go through our pain together, why shouldn't we be able to share the good stuff also?
What WOULD our doctor see if he/she visited this board? A group of people brought together by an illness that carries with it indescribable pain and suffering, but a group who can still laugh at/with each other and share their feelings and lives. A group of people who REFUSE TO LOSE. And a group of people who sincerely care and support each other even when we're fighting about something stupid.
So now you know what I think! I'd suggest we all quit worrying about what we look like and get back to the honesty that's made us WANT to visit this board. If all you're looking for is technical info go to the left hand side of the page and click on the medical info. But if you're looking for support, come to the message board for that.
That's just my opinion and I could be wrong, but I don't think so.....
Hugs BD