Family counts (ask anyone who's alone)

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Posted by heybrian ( on September 29, 1999 at 12:29:49:

In Reply to: It is that time of year again. posted by Chris on September 29, 1999 at 12:02:34:

I can think of only one thing worse than suffering through a cluster, and that is suffering through a cluster alone. Your husband may seem far away, and when the cluster hits he probably thrashes around like he just wants to be left alone. . .That doesn't mean he really wants to be alone. The pain is just so extreme that he can't concentrate on anything else. I know my clusters hurt my wife too, because she wants so desparately to DO something to help. There's nothing she can do to relieve the pain, but I know she's there with me and that means everything. I tend to view the pain as the enemy, and get angry about it. I'm guessing your husband goes through a similar process. The anger is not for you, it's for the pain. Whether he's able to express it or not in the middle of his war, he appreciates not being alone. He may not want to be talked to or touched, but he knows you're there and that is of utmost importance. I think the best thing you can do is keep the O2 and the imitrex (or whatever) handy, and be patient. I'll leave you with this: It will sound strange, but true. . .Don't let him see YOU suffer too much. I see my wife crying in sympathy, and makes my angrier at the pain, because now it's hurting her too, and I don't think that anger helps. Best of luck to you both, and sincere thanks to all of you significant others of clusterheads. You make the difference by just being there.

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