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Posted by Angela ( on October 07, 1999 at 13:22:50:

Margi I don't hold grudges, I know that my life seemed to be a piece of soap opera on the board. I like my privacy and my husband knows that. I responded on the board to everything so everything could end the topic of what was going on with me and go on about others like Carl for instance.
I looked back at my husband's post and I don't see anything similiar about our writing style, I think I am a little more mellow and more intelligent than he is. Maybe we mispell the same words because forever I would edit his proposals and term papers when we were in college. He might have adopted my imperfections. .
I am not coming back to the board for a while because I am moving to Seattle to live with my brother until I get things back together for my family. I felt like I was very unwelcome because of the posts and I still believe that no one will ever take what I have to contribute seriously after being painted as someone crazy and messed up. I came only to this board to help others if I could, to learn more about clusters so that I can solve it for me.People really read me wrong on Monday. I said darn I got the job, and I meant it. I didn't want to get a job because I know of my record concerning holding down a job. I was glad that it would be involved with working with some special people, but I wasn't kidding, I didn't want to get it, I don't know how I got it because I was a mess that day. My rating system and your husbands could be different. I have rated my pain since I was in my teens from going to the ER and having to rate where I was. A five for me is when I am uncomfortable, a seven is where I know I am in trouble and a 10 (although I think it should be more like a 25) is when I am going crazy and panicking. I can still function at a seven. Next time I will say a five so people have consistency. I think what drove my husband off.was that I couldn't keep quiet and I rocked back and forth on our squeaky floors. I have a corner that I dig my temple into and it leaves indentions on the side of my head and sometimes I go too far and I will be bruised the next morning. I found out today that my cable is being turned off on the 10th.( Not that I care because my tv is gone.) They called and confirmed it this morning. I asked who asked for the cancellation. It was Scott. I called up the phone, and my power are also being turned off. My educated guess is that he planned to leave this weekend. I made it convenient for him by being in the hospital to leave earlier. Another thing that may throw people off is that I get migraines as well. This is because I have hormones that are very unbalanced. I have 15 days out of my month lost from migraines and somewhere around 2 or possibly 3 attacks a month from clusters. I am very sensitive to my environment and very in tune to it. I think that may be a factor and I also have little serotonin in my system, lots of food allergies,and a copper deficiency that makes me break easily( my kids have this too)
I am just going to try and stay in the background for a while and help when I can. I want to be forgotten.
Thank you for your apology, I don't expect perfection in judgement from anyone. It just hurt.

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