My latest theory (long!)

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Posted by Todd ( on October 14, 1999 at 17:21:30:

Several hundred years ago, at a festive ball, a man carrying the defective TERS gene engaged in the procreative act with a woman carrying the equally rare CLUS defect,. Immediately upon consummating the act, the man attempted to bestow a kiss of gratitude upon the woman. Unfortunately, just prior to the intimacy, he had consumed a pickled pig’s knuckle, which he had naturally dowsed quite liberally with black pepper. Much of this pepper adhered to his luxurious mustache, and thus caused the woman to sneeze quite violently. So violently, in fact, that the rapid contraction of her diaphragmatic muscle expelled the barely fertilized egg from it’s natural incubation site.

The egg flew across the room, smashing forcefully against the intricately carved armoire opposite the bed. To be precise, it smashed into the temple of a gargoyle-like demonic creature carved into the crown molding. This impact shattered the egg into thousands of near-atomic level pieces, which were immediately swept out the window on a sudden gust of wind.

Remarkably tenacious, these microscopic particles of defective zygotic material continue to survive today, and in fact are swirling around in atmospheric suspension. On rare occasion, one of these pieces is in the vicinity of another couple engaged in the act of procreation (whether intentionally or not). The piston-like action generally employed during this act actually creates a tiny atmospheric eddy, a sort of air-whirlpool. If the particle of defective fertilized egg is near enough, it is thus sucked into the birth canal, where it typically attaches itself to the newly fertilized egg of the unsuspecting and innocent couple, and grows to maturation right along with the fetus.

This, of course, accounts for the excess gray matter Dr. Goadsby discovered.

It also explains a number of things many have noticed here on the board, such as:
-why we automatically refer to as ‘family’…..we are all ancestrally related
-why we share so many personality traits
-why we refer to attacks as the ‘demon’ and our response as ‘the dance’
-why the demon strikes the temple
-why it’s so rare

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