Posted by Bobbie P. (184.108.40.206) on October 25, 1999 at 00:23:58:
In Reply to: CLUSTER BUSTER posted by JIM on October 24, 1999 at 23:01:11:
Your thoughts touched a nerve tonight. I'm glad you seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!
I'm in my ninth week and have no idea when or if they will end. It is funny once they are gone you always delude yourself into thinking that they're gone for good but then they drop the bottom out of your world by creeping back in like a thief in the night....and then the hounds of hell practice torture games in your head for what seems like forever. Slowly, after weeks of insanity some semblance of normalcy returns but the hounds aren't finished playing with you yet. They take bets to see when they should set off the next bomb and what pain level it should be at. When they get tired of that, they decide to play the "alls quiet on the western front" game, slipping in a couple of soft balls just to keep you from that sane world that is so close but forever far away. They do it to remind you that you'll never be free.
Maybe that's why I hide the memories from myself.
Lord help me to look for the light, one day at a time. I'm hangin in there, just barely, but hangin.
Wishing all of us PFDAN
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