Judge not... (very long and poor me poor you post)

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Posted by Carl D ( on October 28, 1999 at 04:12:23:

In Reply to: agree ALMOST completely - ESPECIALLY re; CH fakers posted by gary g on October 27, 1999 at 23:02:28:

I understand you, but I have a question: What makes you think that people who leave long, depressing posts are fakers? How can you tell if someone is a faker? Have you ever met them? Not trying to be hostile, but I take personal offense to your singling out of people you do not believe have clusters.
For one, I leave long posts, #2, Yes - I complain, but anyone in my shoes without someone to turn to probably would. I have had CH's for 12 years. I am an accomplished musician. My music collection two years ago boasted over 5'000 Compact discs, 1400 cassettes and several hundred lp's (vinyl for those in the know). I had alot of music equipment, and a house full of stuff. I had a beautiful girl I was going to marry, a job, my own place - everything was going good. I lost it all in a period of 20 months. Most people say I have above average intelligence (those who really know me anyway), so would it be smart to just let it all go if you were seeking attention? I had more people clawing to get to me and vie for my time - but not anymore. And by the way: if anyone really wants to get attention - become a drag queen!!!

I also have receipts dating back as far as '91 that total a few thousand dollars. That would have paid for my first album easily. So if I really wanted attention - there was a better way to get it.

I came to Clusterheadaches.com in hopes of finding others who maybe going through the same thing I have - But have come to find I am a rarity among the rarities. Instead of a support group, I have found a bunch of people waiting for someone to leave a post so they can attack it, critique it, or judge the person by the post.

My ultimate question is this: How can you judge truly if someone is suffering from clusters? You simply cant. You dont know the person. You dont see them in private. You dont see them when they have to run away from the public due to an attack. You ultimately cannot know. So if a person comes to Clusterheadaches.com , it's pretty likely they suffer from clusters - why else would they bother to look it up? (incidently - a friend of mine found this website and turned me on to it this past March - when he was trying to find info to try to understand what I go through).

As far as women having clusters: How can you say the percentage of women who don't have clusters? There may actually be more than men, they just haven't found this site yet. So much is speculated about CH's, and yet very little is known to be solid truth. The only thing that is known about clusters is it is the most intense, hardcore pain in the world - only second to disembowelment with a melon ball scooper. I will not say someone has them, I will not say someone doesn't. I will not say that because they leave long whiny posts (like this one) they must be a faker. I will not say because they obsess with Testosterone they must be a faker. I will not say that women on this board do not have CH's. I will say that instead of judging, ridiculing, ripping people apart and coming just short of stoning, the people on this board should be supportive of one another and try to be a little more understanding.
Anyone can say what they want about me, thats fine. Call me what you will. But I know what I go throguh every day and night - those few that have stuck with me have seen the hell I deal with.

I wouldn't have posted this here, but you did not leave your Email address and the tone of your post disturbed me. Yes, I leave long posts, yes I whine. God forbid anyone else should have to go through what I have. I keep looking at my niece who is now 8 years old and can't get the thought out of my mind "what if she got these"? I would lose it bigtime. I look at my brothers and think "they came from the same gene pool I did, why dont they have them - or will they get them later in life".

I do not know you Gary - so I do not know if you suffer from CH's or not. Not saying you do or don't. I'm saying I cant know. Neither can you. So Judge not, lest ye be judged. Just because a woman says she has them and the CH history says that women do not get them doesn't mean she is lying or faking. It means we simply do not know what causes them or who is at risk of having them.
Think of some of the Stereotypes and tell me how many men here actually fit into them: Square jutted jaw or chin, tall muscular men with a bad complextion and hazel eyes. Ok, I got the hazel eyes but... Short, round chin, not very muscular. Damnit - If I'm going to have the CH's , why can't I be tall and muscular?

The only common link I have found is this: judging by the posts left by most people on this board, they are very intelligent and gifted in many areas: Art, Music, computers, etc.

But it is down right wrong to try and judge a person by the way they post or what they say. Save it for Vegas. Then you will meet the people and maybe get a different view of them than you thought you would. Like this post - you may think I am irate, freaking and in a bad mood as I type. Actually I am smiling and ready to fall over due to the fact I haven't slept in four days. I am so slaphappy it isn't funny. Defensive? Slightly, only because I leave very long whiny posts when I havent had sleep and have had 5 CH's in a 24 hr period.

This is where I come to hang out at 3:00 am since I just had a CH and have no Imitrex or Oxygen. Hopefully there is someone out there who understands. I just wish President Clinton really could "Feel my pain."

Forever a Freek but truly unique - Carl D

P.S. I notice alot more women post than men - what does that mean?

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