but you DO do more!

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Posted by Todd ( on December 07, 1999 at 19:09:57:

In Reply to: wife of ch sufferer posted by leah on December 07, 1999 at 15:30:51:

Over 16 years of episodic clusters and 2 wives, I've never had a supporter. I've never been a 'headbanger', preferring to medicate, pace, hold an ice pack to my temple and 'focus' on the pain...sort of stare it down, if you will. Perhaps this more 'passive response' (is that an oxymoron in relation to clusters??) prevented them from understanding the severity of the attack. Whatever, the point is still the same...
Every clusterhead who does has a supporter has told me the same thing....they are IMMENSELY grateful for the understanding and support. No, you can't take the pain away. Your husband, like many of us, may prefer for you to leave him alone during an attack. He may even 'lose his cool' and yell or cuss at you if you try to talk to him. But I'd almost be willing to bet that when he beats off another mid-night attack of the Demon, he crawls back in bed and snuggles up next to the woman who has chosen to share his life and his disorder. Who has her sleep disrupted by his crying and screaming, and who still gets up the next morning and does her job, be it at home or outside.
Email Margi....she's responded to at least one of your posts. She understands, and verbalizes, the supporter role better than anyone I've ever met. I'm sure she has a few tips for you, and you supporters need support sometimes too!

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