Posted by Jack Boyd (167.206.58.39) on January 02, 19100 at 11:34:28:
We who suffer from Clusters are keenly aware that clusters are as bizarre as they are painful. We might also agree that speculation about the cause of clusters has been equally as bizarre and painful. I have been doing some research in the annals of cluster research and have come across the following examples:
1) The guy from DeMoines who noticed when he moved to Albuquerque that his normal cluster cycle did not start. He did a little research and detected that Albuquerque is due South South West of DeMoines. Convinced that he had found a cure for his clusters he has been moving South South West ever since. He is now in Tierra Del Fuego, living off the land, and still getting clusters.
2) The lady who noticed that when I Love Lucy reruns were especially funny she had a milder bout of clusters.
3) The guy who noticed that during a cycle, individual attacks seem to be much more severe after going to his favorite Chinese restaurant. He analyzed this phenomenon a little more and determined that it only happened when he went to the restaurant, ordered Shrimp Chow Mein and drove home on US 1.
4) The guy from LA who studied his clusters for many years. He was a statistician by training and was able to develop cause and effect diagrams, regression analysis charts, statistical process controls, among other mathematical tools. He was also a bit of a free thinker ( some say his pot smoking helped him to think freer, but I don’t know ) and considered any and all variables in a quest to find the cause of clusters. This is what he came up with – When Cher went in to the plastic surgeon for work on her derriere ( never her face ) and there was a Democratic Mayor in the city he had a ( GET THIS ) 15.34% chance of getting a cluster cycle within the next 6 months. The wonders of science!