God, no... here it comes again....

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Posted by Terri ( on January 05, 2000 at 05:10:43:

Let me apologize ahead of time for all the misspellings and rambling I'm going to do. I've been mostly PF for the last week after going on Prednisone (a temp fix till I could get my reg Dr. to figure out something) and tonite I'm in so much pain all I can do is cry. God I don't want my life to be like this..... My damn Dr. won't call me back, now it's 2am and I'm trying to decide if I wanna make the 20 min drive to the ER - AGAIN... No more morphine though - thought it was going to kill me. I really haven't had a good night's sleep in about 3 1/2 weeks and I swear I can't handle this anymore.. They're not nice, neat little 45min - 1 hour packages of pain anymore. Now it's seemingly non-ending, mind blowing pain (agian on the right side). I'm so afraid that this will be my life... I can't believe I've even become afraid to go to sleep. I love to sleep! I haven't done it sucessfully in weeks and I think it's affecting me. Sorry, thanks for letting me vent... this is so awful, why don't more people know about this?? How can something be SO painful and have NOTHING I can do to fix it?? I don't get it... Looks like I'm going to have to fly to California to see my Dr. (oh, joy) and try to figure out what I'm going to do for a life from now on. BTW, 1/4 is my birthday - happy freakin' birthday, huh?


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