Posted by Q (126.96.36.199) on January 14, 2000 at 11:55:31:
In Reply to: You know... posted by hub on January 14, 2000 at 07:26:03:
Hub, CH can make you think you are going crazy.
The prolonged pain, cummulative stress and lack of rational explainations as to causes and cures takes its toll. The evidence is clear and abundant on this point. CH-induced insanity arises when the pain takes over. Rational thought gets squeezed out when the Devil-pain comes to visit. Knowing that my borderline losses of sanity are a direct result of the CH-condition allows me to stay sane when under the pain-attack and afterwards. In the early days of my CH, I often wondered if I was loosing my mind. Now I know it was only my brain trying to kill me -- no different than if I had a serious heart condition.
Newcommers are full of fear and despiration. Something will fill the void -- The mind requires it. We are adaptable and can choose from an infinite array of choices. The choices we make in these moments of pain and fear dictate the quality of life we experience as CH-hosts. Fear runs off options. As options are reduced, the fine line between sane and insane thoughts and behaviors is easily crossed. Some make it back, others dont. Some find pain transference. Some find drugs. Some find lucky charms. Some just endure. Some escape. Some lash out. Some watch helplessly. Some find an easier softer way. Ultimately, we all find our way, one way or the other.
Knowledge gives us options -- Faith tells us so. Imagination is a muscle we can choose to exercise. Doubt and fear go hand in hand. Perhaps faith in the powers that be is built up after testing the limits. Experience, faith and hope are invaluable resources. I do not exist for pain. I find courage seeing others succeed. My pain is lessened when I get out of my self. And work with others.
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