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Posted by Carl D ( on January 15, 2000 at 20:01:08:

Today has been bad. Real bad. I keep reminding the demon that he should bother someone who is more important. More of a threat to him. To leave me alone. I am nobody. Guess what? The demon doesn't care or discriminate - he only hates us.

Yesterday I was thumbing through the links (I haven't done that in a while.) I went to the MGH message board for the first time. I noticed some posts have been deleted. Then I went to a couple of post on titled either CH.Com or I feel sick.
Some of the same people who said they cared - proved that they don't. One person in particular called this site a "Cult" group and that there is nothing but backstabbers and the like.... I wont even go on with what it said (If you want to know, look it up.)

All I can say is this: If people want to fight against each other, go for it. Bloody each other up. I just wonder what would have happened if when we went to war, we fought with each other about this or that tit for tat, we would've been so busy fighting each other, the enemy would laugh, pause, then run us over. I kinda see that in our case. We can fight with each other all we want - meanwhile, the beast laughs, waiting to see who he wants to attack next. Shouldn't we fight the enemy instead of each other.

It amazes me the ignorance, the prejudice and the hatred that can burn in ones veins. One person stated that the majority of people at CH.Com are gay. I know of a few that have made thier orientation known - and out of a few hundred people, I would expect some to be gay, some white, some black, some asian, some hispanic, some tall, some round, some skinny, some serious, some funny........This is what happens when you open up to the world, you get a little of everyone. I am not prejudice. I love the fact that everyone is different in thier own special way, if we were all the same - MAN, how boring would that get (Not to mention Jerry Springer would have to get a real job.)

I have been stabbed in the back here. I have had my feelings hurt many a times. I have also been humbled on this board. I wouldn't trade any of it though if it meant never meeting some of the people I have. I love you people. Some of you are strange as can be, but I am sure you say the same of me. I love Idiot, er - Drummer. I love Nancy, and I miss her funnies. Phil C, Dj, Bob P, Hub, Gary, Jonny, Elaine, Susan, Riccardo, Lars, Claudette, Kipple, Cujo, Todd, Christine, Bernadette, John B, Doug L, Barb D, Dennis.....even Chet - the board wouldn't be the same without you guys - then again, maybe it would. It seems alot of people have decided not to post anymore, and the board has gone on despite that fact. I just Love You Guys.

Whether you choose to post here or not - you will still come here. You will still read what others are saying. You will still have Clusters. I will continue to post - when I am right, when I am wrong, When my feelings get hurt, when I am pissed, when I am happy.
And why? Because I have this really screwed up Headache condition that no one else understands. except for those at CH.Com....

....Oh, and I always wanted to join a cult.
Everyone repeat after me : Kirtaiya, Kirtaiya, Kirtaiya (Repeat 30 times, rub cottonswabs on your toes, pour a ring of salt around your chair and sing "Oh Happy Day.")

I feel like I have been kicked in the head repeatedly. This post probably sounds like I have been kicked in the head repeatedly. I am tired, sore and just plain ole' freakin.

Until the day I rot in...

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