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Posted by Margi ( on January 22, 2000 at 11:30:16:

In Reply to: HELP MY WIFE the suporter PLEASE posted by Chuck on January 21, 2000 at 23:59:06:

Chuck, I'm writing this to you instead of to your wife because I think I can explain a little of what supporters go through and the number one thing we don't want out sufferers to feel is guilt. If your wife is anything like me, she develops an armour when you are being attacked and her main focus is to try to help you end your pain, safely. Asking you how much imitrex you had already had demonstrates that point. Yes, she will do anything to stop the pain but she doesn't want you to endanger your life by overdosing. We supporters too feel "whatever it takes, let's stop the pain" and, I feel, would give you ANYTHING if we thought it would help. But our common sense does prevail and we assume the role of watchdog over your meds. Forgive the crude analogy but I always relate to that one scene in the exorcist when the little girl was being possessed and hurling vile insults at the two priests in the bedroom. That wasn't that little girl doing that, that was the devil. A cluster attack can be similar to that in the eyes of a supporter - we know you can't help your reactions or control your frustration when you are being attacked relentlessly. We know the real you will come back when the attack subsides.
You're right though, we can't feel your pain - we never have. But, rest assured, we believe your pain. We hate your pain. We have a pain of our own that you can't understand, for which you feel responsible and by seeing how guilty you feel, our pain increases. Vicious circle, huh?
There are no magic words to make ch pain go away.....just ain't gonna happen, the only "treatment" we have is each other. Here at, sufferers can find other sufferers to console each other and supporters can compare notes with other supporters. I'm sorry, but there isn't a med in the world that can compare to that feeling. Finding someone who understands does reduce the pain.
If you or your wife ever need anything, PLEASE feel free to email me anytime:
Now stop feeling guilty and know that you and your wife are not alone anymore.

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