Posted by Penny on October 31, 1998 at 06:35:27:
In Reply to: mental effects - missing them after ? posted by Gary on October 29, 1998 at 12:39:02:
Wow. I guess I thought I was sort of crazy to "miss" CHs when they move on out of my life. For me it is partly anxiety, too, about whether they are really gone and why the heck did I get another whole tank of oxygen if all I am going to have is this one last headache! But I finally tell myself it is OK; the cost of one tank of O2 is worth getting rid of even one headache. Last year the O2 worked so well that I came close to wondering if I was even having CHs! They always come in the middle of the night and with the use of oxygen go away so fast that I don't feel that "hung over" kind of sensation I used to get when I battled them alone. In past years I spent those weeks in a semi-haze most days so it was almost like something was wrong or missing last year. But after some time I realized that it was OK to have a normal lifestyle even during a CH cycle.
I should find out real soon if my luck holds out because NOvember has been my month the last several years. But I have had varying time periods between cycles in the past so who knows.
You know, I am wondering if part of what I felt is similar to "Survivor's guilt" in that somehow in my twisted brain I was feeling guilty because I wasn't suffering endlessly like I always had or like other CH sufferers do?