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Posted by Carl D ( on January 23, 2000 at 11:19:15:

I literally have not slept in days. Not a wink. None. My head is swimming. I had a very very very terrible no good rotten mean attack about 8:00am, and it quite possibly could be the reason I feel the way I do now. I feel sunk. I feel as if by going on and trying to lead a normal life and trying to function and such - I am just living a charade and as I smile I really want to scream. Scream my F#@King lungs out. I feel like attacking the next person who smiles and say "how are you doing?" I feel like the man in the post I left awhile back, I feel like ripping my own head off!!!

I am more than hurting - more than tired - more than confused - more sore than sore - more than frustrated - more than shot - more than a basket case - more than losing it - more than ready to jump out of my skin - more than over - more than beaten...
I think I finally reached the pinnacle we all try to avoid. What is the use of dealing with this anymore? When will it get better? When will it end? Will it ever end? I am tired of waiting. Time takes way too much time. I am tired.

Carl Daniels

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