why sailpappy

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Posted by sailpappy ( on February 03, 2000 at 12:38:09:

Hello all,
I just wanted to let you all know that I use the screen name sailpappy because I use Extreme Sailing to boost my endorphin levels and help me maintain the sanity dealing with the 4-12 or more attacks I have each day.
I am also raising 2 of my Grandkids ages 2 and 6 and they call me Pappy. ERGO---"Sailpappy"
I had hoped to find some support here and also contribute to the overall board as I have a vast knowledge of this syndrome. I have had no less than 3 attacks a day for over 30 years. I average 7 a day and choose to be drug free some 10 years ago.
Not only do I suffer from this malady I also am on Deaths doorstep from liver failure, I just completed 6 months of Chemo and will start another 6 month course in a few weeks.
It's easy to throw stones at someone from afar and I suggest stepping back and looking at the overall picture. I have been drug free except for the chemo for the past 10 years, the chemo zapps you so badly that it's hard to even stand up, I stand outside of the shower and run cold water on my head for pain control and during the chemo I passed out several times and slammed my head in the shower stall floor.
I go in at 2:30pm today for an MRI and I sure hope they find the cause, In a moment of weakness 2 days ago I went to the Doctor to ask for help, I have been having upwards of 12-15 attacks daily for over a month now and I was at my wits end. I allowed them to give me 60 mg of Morphine so I could get some desperatly need sleep. I have gotten a total of 1.5 to 2 hours per night for so long it was affecting everything I did. I feel guilty enough for taking the med with out being chastized for it. Morphine is one of the few pain meds that helps at all. Most just set the headaches off instead of stopping them. Like I said over the 20 years prior to going drug free I had a chance to try them all and not even Demerol helps me, it just makes me goofy for about 1 hour and then it's right back to normal.
I have been through every medical and chemical treatment available and choose to go drug free to protect my own health. Judge me if you want but stand in my shoes for 1 day. If you want a little insight into old sailpappy go to www towerpromotions.com and follow the link to my poetry.
I use thought diversion to help during the attacks and while the water is running over my head I try to solve problems in other areas of my life mentally. I write poems, design graphic art peices and a host of other mental excercizes to take me away from the pain.
I see a lot of playing on the boards and I enjoy the banter, I hope to be a good source of information
while on this board.
I counsel on a drug addictions board and belong to a liver disease group as well so I'm not a complete stranger to this format. I can sling it with the best of them so I try to remain constructive. If you want to say something offensive to me how about sending it to my email dirrectly. on the board I want to be productive and Flaming is not productive for anyone.
Good luck and Good Sailing Sailpappy

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