The old Clusterhead Defense?

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Posted by Kenn ( on February 04, 2000 at 12:53:43:

I read or heard somewhere that there has been at least one court case where a person was charged with a crime and tried to use cluster headaches as a defense. It seems to me it was an assault case in the Midwest about 1985 or so. Does anyone know of it or any similar cases?
One reason I ask is because I'm thinking of using it as a defense after my next doctor's appointment. :)

Also, for any of you who can still play chess, there actually IS an opening for black called the "Clusterhead Defense." It was developed at the Goose Hollow Inn about 1980 in Portland, and it arises in the early moments of a headache when you are holding your head and peeking at the board through your fingers and realize that you have just made a fatal mistake in the opening and can also see that if your opponent makes a certain move with his bishop, you have lost.
The Clusterhead Defense relys upon timing, because at the instant you see the opponent's hand about to touch the bishop, you must kick the board and all of the pieces completely across the entire room and then claim a draw. It is important that you show your contorted face to your opponent at that moment, even if briefly. An accompanying, sudden, piercing scream adds enormous power to the defense.
If you do this a few times, you will rarely lose at coffeehouse chess.

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