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Posted by Miss Twitch ( on February 10, 2000 at 16:03:33:

Good Afternoon Class.
Today's subject is How NOT to Treat a Substitute Teacher.
It has taken me ALL morning to scrape the bubblegum off my..... clothing, and I am now getting more than a little perturbed at your behaviour. From now on, until Mrs. Holloman returns, the following rules will be enforced.
1. Absolutely NO throwing of any projectile objects in the general vicinity of the substitute teacher.
2. Absolutely NO reptiles or mammals or fish or insects or any other such sort of creepy-crawly specimens to be placed with 20 yards of the substitute teacher's desk.
3. Do NOT offer the substitute teacher ANY form of food or drink. She will NO LONGER be accepting any such offers from anyone.
4. There will be ZERO TOLERANCE for abuse of any new students that may enter the classroom. We expect to have a new student by the name of....let me check my list here, ah yes...by the name of Dimples joining us this afternoon and I expect that you will treat him with the utmost of kindness and respect. Now, Mr. Dimples is coming to us from a rather challenging past and can be expected to feel a little strange amongst us for the first little while. His..er...um....kinfolk have stayed behind in the jung....uh... country he comes from and he will be all alone and lonely in his new surroundings. I trust you will make EVERY effort to make him feel comfortable.
5. ALL of your behaviour is being recorded and I expect to give a full report to Mrs. Holloman before her return and disciplinary action will be taken appropriately.
Thank you for your attention, now let's get to work.
Miss Twitch

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