Posted by Margi (18.104.22.168) on February 15, 2000 at 11:48:02:
In Reply to: Tears, Monique... posted by Kenn on February 15, 2000 at 10:38:33:
This is perhaps the BEST post I have ever seen by a sufferer describing how he needs his supporter to react!! Every word of it is wonderful. But I think the biggest point he makes is to give the sufferer the space they need. Stay within earshot but out of sight if Greg wants to be alone. The hardest lesson a supporter can learn to accept, but it's a gift of love to them if you can do it.
My biggest therapy has been taking on projects for myself - kind of a release. For me, I work out at a gym on my lunch hours but that may not be available or possible for you. But I think it is really important for YOU to find an outlet for your emotional stress too. You can only do so much for Greg - you have to admit that you have limitations and you are NOT Superwoman. You are trying to help him AND your kids through cluster life and for that, you are an angel, but you DO have to take time for yourself to get some of your stress in check. Even if it's reading a book in a hot bath with the door locked, or going for a walk for 20 minutes. Your family WILL survive without you but you can't lose sight of yourself or you will be no good to anyone. I'm not saying that you should go bowling when Greg is being attacked - far from it. You wouldn't get any benefit of it anyways, you would be too worried. Try to do something for yourself when he is pain free - even if it's just for half an hour or something. You will be able to relax more if you know he is ok, but you will still be doing something for yourself. This may sound selfish to some out there but I look at it as if it were a savings account of sorts, if I bank on myself, I will be much stronger for longer. Get it?
CH is NOT fatal, Greg WILL survive, your kids will be ok. Yes, it's damn hard but it's the hand we have been dealt. We go on. Make some Monique time. Now, don't say "Yes, Margi, if I can." Say, "Yes, Margi, WHEN I can." ok?
And as far as the water treatment goes, the secret is drinking ENOUGH and sticking with it. 5 or 6 glasses a day is NOT going to make a difference, it will only frustrate him.
Is he chronic? If not, how long has this cycle lasted?
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