clearing up a few things.....

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Posted by Dave ( on February 18, 2000 at 23:47:03:

In Reply to: I realy messed my self up posted by Doug L on February 18, 2000 at 19:54:31:

Hey Doug,
I'm hoping nothing in any of my postings helped
lean you towards the non-med experiment.
Here is why I am trying it. You see, I was only given
the correct diagnose last year that I had CH. The years before I was clueless and just had to deal with it. Chiropractors told me it was this and that (all of them had different reasons) and doctors blamed it on stress, tension, TMJ, etc... we all know the list.
So, last year was the first time I started taking medications. And, I thought and wished I would die. Just about all the meds were pain killers and muscle relaxants, etc...another list we all started at. But, there was also Sansert. That stuff scared me. I did taper off very slowly on that stuff.
Understand, I was blaming the fact that this was by far the worst pain I had yet to deal with, on the meds. So, I got rid of them. And, I hate to admit it, but at the time I could have cared less if it killed me, maybe even hoped it would a little.
So, with my trying this med free route, it has to be understood that I haven't had these medications in my system.
I'm not trying to "tough it out", exact opposite.
I'm afraid of the drugs, be it because of last years experience or fear of dependence on them.
Either way, they scare the crap out of me.
This bout I haven't past KIP8 yet, so my experiment isn't fulfilled yet. And, if I give in, I give in. I'll take the Imitrex or whatever.
So basically, I'm not quitting taking the drugs, I'm trying not to start.
Kip 8's are just reminders of whats ahead, even thinking about the 10's I know are coming scare me something fierce!
I must be a wimp, cause an 8 can bring me to my knees in a hurry.
If you see a post in here soon saying I taking the meds now, I won't feel any less a "man" than I do now.
Just I feel I've got to try it.
Hope you're feeling better!

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