Posted by Jack (167.206.58.39) on February 20, 2000 at 10:07:49:
I have discovered a brand new neurotransmitter. In fact, I have been able to name it, and I call it the “GREENLY FACTOR”.
I discovered this neurotransmitter by employing the same sort of logic that sub-atomic physicists use. These scientists find a new particle by witnessing the behavior of other known particles. They never actually “see” this new particle but they figure it must be there and they often use millions of dollars of tax money building and using these tunnels to prove their discovery. They figure something is causing this behavior so there must be some new particle they can discover and therefore make themselves famous, although not rich. And so it is with neurotransmitters.
My “GREENLY FACTOR” can’t be measured, seen or touched but I now it is there coursing through our veins and even our arteries. It is responsible for all sorts of behavior, including but not limited to, flatulence, self-righteousness, smelly feet, smoking, dinking, gratuitous profanity, obsessive compulsive disorders, histrionics, poor percussion performances, and even attaching socks before placement in hampers. This discovery can help all of us and can serve to alleviate both responsibility and guilt. We can blame most everything on the “GREENLY FACTOR”. So should anyone from the press or the National Academy of Science ask you if you have this neurotransmitter called the “GREENY FACTOR” , please respond in the affirmative. I think it may even help us get Hub out of jail.
Your Friend,
Jack