Posted by Tami on November 19, 1998 at 22:37:35:
Once again it is late at night and I am up all by myself. Trying hard not to feel sorry for myself. The best way is to read what the rest of you are saying. Can not believe the years and years that some of you have been dealing with this. pray for all of you often. It just seems like every time I get my hopes up that this episode is going away, the headaches et even worse. The doctors make me feel like I should just quit wasting their time, go home and take an aspirin. Everyone knows that women don't get CH. Fortunately for my mental state i get mad, not depressed, except occassionally. Then I am just more dtermined than ever to beat this. Just wish that all of them could be me for one day. Have kind of a strange problem. Have worked so hard at not letting others know the extent of my pain that I have become very good at concealing it. Of course it is obvious that I do not feel well, but most of the time doctors, co-workers and even my husband do not realize how close I am to screaming and beating my head into the wall. Now I can't seem to convince anyone just how awful they are. How do I get myself into these things? Have had headaches off and on all day, finally got home and took some meds. Of course it is too late by then, so just deal with it until just a few minutes ago, when it actually let up to the point where i might get some sleep. Sorry if it sounds like I am whining, but this episode has gone on for so long, and I had several days recently with only one headache a day instead of 4-5 thought I was getting my life back.Have at least been eating pretty well for a few days, so have a little energy stored up to fight again. Especially for all you who have been doing this for a long time, how do you put up with it, and keep trying? Some days I just want to quit my job, sty in bed and feel sorry for myself. Other nights iswear it's a good thing i don't have a gun. I'm just so tired!Speaking of which, should probably try to sleep while i can. God bless