Posted by Todd Owen (220.127.116.11) on March 05, 2000 at 00:58:58:
I finally got some sleep last night after crying for a couple hours. Woke up feeling exhausted, like I was a long way from having had enough sleep. Didn't want to try and get any more though. Went off with my wife and kids to go skydiving for the day. It is one of the few things I can still enjoy where the cluster will not invade from the time I exit the plane until after I land. I counted a good eight times that I got hit throughout the day. I fought through all of them save one without taking anything. The last one was passing through a seven when I injected myself with imitrex. I refused to take anything more because I wanted to jump--it is one of the few ways I can have fun with my wife and really feel alive. Feel alive, especially after feeling like the CH is draining my life from me. As for tonight, I'm terrified of going to sleep. I don't want to have another night like last night. The nightmares had me crying for hours. The pain was intense. All I could do was drug up and hope for the best. I'm just scared right now. If anyone is on, e-mail me, or if you have AOL/AOL Instant Messenger, talk to me at analogrto. It seemed like no one was on last night, and I'm sorry to scare anyone by not posting back soon after. I'll probably be on quite a while tonight, I don't want to sleep if at all possible.
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