Posted by Dave (205.188.196.21) on March 05, 2000 at 10:05:47:
Hi all,
While fighting this battle with the beast, we've had
some communication, thought I might share his last letter to me...maybe we're getting somewhere?
Dave
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Dear Clusterhead,
It has come to my attention that you are experiencing difficulties in your new-found dilema. That's all right, I intended it to be this way.
Surely you don't think I'll just let you brush me off so easily, I mean, give me some credit, I am the Beast!
And let me tell you, I am not at all pleased by your recent dealings with my other prey. Wipe the sheepish grin off your face too! These new friends of yours are really starting to piss me off!
Maybe it would help you to understand why I insist you get away from them. Let's just review some of their traits and match them up against mine.
By my writing you this letter, you may think I fear the organizing of your fellow prey. You forget, my dear Clusterhead, I am the Beast, and we will see who wins out in the long run.
You see, I am not your typical foe. I am the master of disguise. Maybe not to you, but to those around you. Look what I've already done to your doctors. I've clouded their minds. This was so easy I have to laugh. I've convinced them that what you are feeling just isn't so. I've trained them to suspect your problem lies in stress, allergies, diet, smoking, alcohol, head traumas, and my favorite of favorites...an over reaction to everyday migraines! In fact, I love it when they give you medications for migraines, it just cracks me up!
Then, I work with your friends and co-workers, my third cousin Prince Headache is one of my favorite allies. I don't mind this wimp getting the credit for my horrible deeds. Just the opposite in fact. The joy I feel when you cringe at the sound of them saying how they too have had bad headaches. Oh, what a riot! Excuse me, but this one just sends me to the floor in uncontrollable laughter. Are you upset with me my dear Clusterhead? I am the Beast, I could care less how you feel about me.
I tell you what, here are some games you can play while trying to outwit me. First go ahead and find that miracle drug that will cure you. It'll work for a little while. (Oh, I'm starting to break up again.. this is so fun to watch!) But anyway, as soon as it starts to work, rush out and tell all my other victims how it will work for them too. But, I love this too. For the minute you tell them, I'm going to pull the rug out from underneath you.. and not let it work anymore! Call me what you will my little Clusterhead, but you must understand who is in control here.
Oh, here's another one. I gather a lot of my relatives around to watch this, kind of like watching the playoffs. Try to beat me by shoving peppers up your nose, or blue cheese in your mouth. Go ahead, dance in the snow barefooted, drink Lake Michigan in one day, take long,hot showers. Am I gone? Maybe for a bit, but I just went to get some snacks for the next show.
I can't tell you how fun this is. But I will try. Hurting? How much? Oh, by the way, I'm after your Kip friend, I didn't appreciate him giving you that scale for pain measurement. That was sly, but I'll find my way around that. Not sure how, but damn am I pissed at him. But for this instance only, I'll go ahead and use his numbers so you can relate. Got a 9? a 10? Whoa boy, let the show begin! Go ahead, pace all over the place, not doing any good huh? Get on your knees and beg for mercy. Hmmm..still no good? How about squeezing your head as hard as you can? No? I didn't think so. Yes, I think you'd better get out of sight! Look at that wall..yeah..run your head into it. Come on, give it a few more shots, just for me? Floor's pretty hard too, how about a few bangers there? Ahh..thank you. This is wonderful. Let's just do this for awhile, say.. 45 minutes to 4 hours? Thanks, that was sheer pleasure to me.
Now hold on there! You stay away from those who are trying to understand me! Repeat after me.."No one knows the pain but me!" Come on, say it! Damn it! Get away from that loving wife! That supportive husband! Don't let them try to comfort you. You are starting to make me angry. Okay, you asked for it! You should be ashamed of yourself. Look what you are doing to them. You, my Clusterhead are guilty, yes guilty! Feel it?
Damn! I've told you to stay away from those fiends at that stupid CH message board. No? Come on now, don't you see they are as lost as you? I know, I know you feel relief in sharing. Oh crap, I need help here! Okay, how about if I beg you to stay away from them? What do I have to do? I can't deal with you learning to accept me and deal with me. Why do they all forget about themselves and try to help each other? Come on!
I'm torturing them too, aren't I? You're not playing fair!
I am supposed to be in control...oh please,please stay away from this group. It's day by day making what used to be fun for me into hard work.
Quit kicking me! I am the Beast! Oh Damn you CH.com, damn you O.U.C.H.! Where is my respect? I've got the rest of the world in my web, but you guys have got to stop this mutiny! I beg of you, stop supporting each other, stop understanding, stop finding ways to laugh, stop finding ways to survive!
I AM THE BEAST..I am the Beast..i'm a beast..a beas.. a bea.........