Posted by Nancy (18.104.22.168) on March 10, 2000 at 16:06:00:
For a friend (well more than one on here) who is having a ruff time right now.
Hugs and a smile,
One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodaux, waiting for help to come.
Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard,then float all the way back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back in.
Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs.
Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?"
Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband; I told him he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water!"
Computers and French
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil' she described, would have a gender association, although in English these words were neutral.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked: "What gender is a computer?"
The teacher didn't know and subsequently divided the class into 2 groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.
One group was composed of the women in the class, and the other of the men.
Both groups were asked to give 4 reasons for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
This boy takes his girlfriend back to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy???!!!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see; a relative, a neighbor . . ."
"At this time of the night no one will show up."
"I've already said NO, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowjob . . . I know you like it too."
"NO!!! I've said NO!!!"
"Baby . . . don't be like that."
At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in nightgown with hair a mess, rubbing her eyes and says . . .
"Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come down and blow the guy himself, but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom."
Hope these make y'all feel better,
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