Depression, Life, on top of it all Clusterheadaches!!

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Posted by Doug L ( on March 11, 2000 at 16:08:07:

What you are about to read is just the ramblings of a person who ....who feels overwhelmed.
Some of you know me. Know that several months ago i tryed to commite souicide.Also know that i was finacaly scamed.Plus my lover now is full of emotion, leting out the adbuse he endured as a child.
I'm filing for bankruptcie. I have no choice. Ive been saving just to get the $250.00 filing fee together.
Thursday, Joel parked our car on the street and it was towed for street cleaning. $487.?? to get it out.
Rent? One month behind. Just saved us today by paying last months rent. Promising to pay up the rest next friday. Utilites are being turned offone at a time. I've got the FBI knocking on my door. (at least they are looking for that scam artist)
On top of everything I am having the worst time that i have had in years with .....whats it called?.....F__KING CLUSTERHEADACHES!
I'm getting anywhere from 4 to 8 headaches a day. I have to work. CAnnot take any time off. I have to stay above water! Their is light at the end of this tunel. I know their is.
These damn fricking headaches demand that i waist my time saving my life to just sit unproductive and do what? Feel even sorrier for my self than i already do.
Is it too much to ask, to just be able to go threw life with a few normal up's and down's? WHY?????????? don't they care that we, me, you are in pain? Why can't this just stop?!!!!! (i'm crying while im writing this. )
I feel at the end of my rope, and that rope is on fire!
You, know what? I think I could be happy. Realy, with everything im going threw i think i could.
Its, just these damn headaches are pushing, and pushing me to the edge every single day, with every breath i take.
Please! this has to stop! Ive never intentionaly hurt anyone.
Im stoping now
Douglas Alan Lutz

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