Posted by Carl D (208.4.16.136) on March 15, 2000 at 10:41:25:
Well, I've been shadowing non-stop for three days now.
Yesterday I decided to make my special recipe Spahgetti (I've mastered it!!!) and it turned into an all day event. Chopped my onions and thawed the hamburger. Shadows of a 2 progressed to a 4, then to a five, then I hit the basement floor and rode out an 8 for about 45 minutes. Went back down to a 2, and started back up on dinner. Take about a two course meal!
Everything has sucked lately! Everything! I'm still on chapter two of my book - and getting frustrated with it. I guess I've hit a bit of writers block. Man!
Did make some headway with the University of Michigan this morning. After I called them Friday about the records they couldn't find, they said that since I was taken to the emergency mental ward after my suicide attempt that it was a different department and I would have to speak to someone from there. When I asked for the number, they told me I would not be able to call them - that they would have to call me back. Well, Monday, Tuesday - no one ever called. My attorneys office called yesterday and said they couldn't get anywhere either after talking to five different people. Great! The judge wants all of my records BEFORE the 24th, and I can't even get into the ballpark. So I called back this morning.
I basically told them "Listen, I've been trying to get these records for two months and I keep getting jerked around. First, they say they have no records, now they tell me it's in a different department and they will have to get a hold of me - and then I never hear back from anyone. The ironic thing is, I am trying to obtain records from a suicide attempt in '94 and since I can't get the records, I'll probably be denied SSI again and will not attempt, but complete suicide!!!"
Guess what? They called back ten minutes later. I should have the records by the end of the week.
Am I good or what? (Please buy my new book - 'Humility, and how I achieved it'.)
It's amazing what you have to do to get ahold of your own medical records. The sad part of it is - I really meant it. (After zero sleep last night and four attacks since midnight - I've been in more than a desperate state, I guess you could say.)
I am once again immune to Tylenol, Ibuprofen and Aspirin. Does nothing even for the general aches and pains, let alone shadows. Now, I keep getting sharp pains in the middle of my left side - what next? Maybe an alien will literally pop out of the side of my head and start dancing around "Hello my baby, hello my baby...hello my beautiful gal!"
I just want one thing right now. SLEEP. I really really really want to go to sleep. really. and I want to stay that way for at least four days straight.
...and if I had one wish, I would wish that all of the children of the world would hold hands and sing a song of peace, love, unity and harmony. And if I had two wishes, I would wish that all of the children of the world would hold hands and sing a song of peace, love, unity and harmony and, that I had fifty million dollars. and if I had three wishes, I would wish the crap about the kids, the fifty mil, and that Drew Barrymorw would be my love slave, and if I had four wishes....."
PEECE on EARTH (and kill the flowers),
Carl D