Posted by Miguel (184.108.40.206) on March 29, 2000 at 23:27:35:
In Reply to: Chemistry 101 posted by Nancy on March 29, 2000 at 12:03:20:
MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET WOMEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
CREATOR: Single Cell Organism
ATOMIC MASS: 90-300lb
OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
1. Surface usually freely and illogically smeared with paint.
2. Boils with or without special treatment.
3. Freezes when not receiving tangible assets.
4. Bitter if used.
5. Found in one state: common ore, while disguised as other too-hard to tell ones.
6. False yields if pressure applied.
1. Has pointless affinity for things that shine, be it metal, stone or shinola.
2. Consumes great quantities of Alcoholic Beverages, Valium and Anti-Depresants.
3. Always explodes spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Lacks veracity in character, speech, or behavior.
5. Most powerful money-grabbing agent known to man.
1. Prevention of passing ERA laws.
2. If fitted with handles for ears and a flat head top...
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
1. Pure specimen non-existent
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
3. One way only, hers.
1. Highly dangerous, unpredictable, volatile, illogical, insensitive and selfish.
2. Legal to possess more than one.
3. Do not want to meet one behind the wheel of moving vehicle, although most times found around the paved areas in metropolitan
agregations, or at the head of the long line of moving vehicles on paved areas.
ELEMENT NAME: man
ATOMIC WEIGHT: (180 +/- 50)
1. Solid and stable at any temperature.
2. Logical and filled with common sense.
3. Pure sample widely available.
4. Due to XX, aging samples are unable to think or act independently.
1. Inexperienced samples attempt to permanently bond with XX perhaps due to unexplainable conjural forces emanating from XX.
2. Tends to form strong bonds with XX that display XXX capabilities.
3. Becomes explosive when mixed non-sensical XX due to lack of tolerance for low logical levels.
4. Neutralize by saturating XX with alcohol, valium or Spanish fly.
1) Build the world, and make it work logicaly and smoothly.
2) Provide XX the illusion of power by listening to continuous non-sensical conversations.
3) Alimony, child-support, strength and character provider to small examples of population.
4) Cover for XX while XX indulges in vodka, valium and/or prozac pursuances.
CAUTION: These individuals make sense. In the absence of XX such individuals have been known
to express laughter, as well as occasionally speak, and think freely.
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