To Whom It May Concern

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Posted by Jack ( on March 31, 2000 at 07:29:51:

I have been told it is somebody’s birthday today, March 31, 2000.

You know who you are.

I don’t know who you are and I don’t care who you are.

No Happy Birthday – I don’t go for that touch feely stuff.

In fact: No hearts, no flowers, no happy faces, no jokes, no sarcasm, no touchy-feely crap, no speculating about the cause of clusters, no obfuscation, no profanity, no emails, no inanity, no speculating about the meaning of life, no onanism, no guilt over onanism, no sardonic witticisms, no butterfly methane, no shameless self-aggrandizement, no shameful self-aggrandizement, no obsequious platitudes, no condescending patronizations, no patronizing condescensions, no unctuous undulating usurpation, no fear of double negatives, no middle aged angst, no YAHOOs, no male or female bonding over clusters, NO NOTHING –


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