Posted by Dale on December 22, 1998 at 11:30:00:
In Reply to: How do I get her to understand the pain I experience posted by Mike on December 21, 1998 at 22:20:36:
Mike,
A quick search of the internet brought me 2900 links related to cluster headaches. If there were that many sites related to the pain involved with splinters or stubbed toes I might understand a person's possible apathy.
Has she ever given birth? Ask her to explain the pain involvd with childbirth. Try to get her to explain the suffering that goes with PMS. We as men can hear what is said and accept it, but do we really understand it?
Our pain is VERY REAL and places a very real physical and emotional damper on our lives.
Before my first experience with clusters 11 years ago, I never would have thought that so much pain could be experienced from a headache.
You said that she's understanding and compassionate about the situation and that's a good thing, but not having experienced the pain firsthand there's no way she can truly understand our lives.
As far as explaining the pain (my description) - show her a 3/8" drill bit and ask her to imagine what it might feel like if it were pushed into one of her temples until it just touched the back of the eye. Not a pleasant thought.
My hat is off to anyone who can stand by us in our times of pain. My wife may not fully understand, but she is always close even tho just out of site. She knows there's nothing she can do but stays close "just in case."