Hello Again :(

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Posted by selene ( on April 20, 2000 at 12:25:03:

Haven't been here lately, though I've lurked in a bit now and again. But after six months of freedom, the beast decided to pay me a visit, triggered by nothing I could identify. Tuesday I felt a HA coming on and soon I felt that eye twitch that told me it might be the start of an attack. A few hours later I was thinking, Cool, this is only a five or six, I can handle *this.* Later that night I woke up and had to pace around awhile, but I still thought, No problem, I'm in control. (We are so persistent in our delusions.) Wednesday morning I was lulled into going to work...I came to regret that decision. Working out at lunch gave me a bit of an endorphin break, but that was the last break I got. By the time I got home, I was gasping, tears streaming down one cheek, one side of my nose a running faucet, wondering if ripping my eye out of my socket would help. As I sat at the table in a dull, pain-enshrouded blur, trying to press my thumb through my forehead, my partner asked if there was anything to be done for me, and added, Don't tell me to shoot you. (I guess I've asked for that relief a few too many times.) Several hours and escalating waves of pain later, I finally collapsed in exhaustion. Woke up once, but after some pacing eased back into sleep. As I write this, I still have lurking shadows, kind of like a healing wound, and one eye is still a little puffy, but as long as I stay away from known triggers the next few days and guzzle my water, I think I'll get through this attack alive once more.

Thanks for listening. I thought of you guys while I was wrestling the beast and knew you were there for me, even if I hadn't posted in awhile. Thank you.

Wishing you pain free days and nights,

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