Grasping at Straws

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Posted by Tim M ( on April 26, 2000 at 14:41:30:

During one of my 4 dance numbers with the Beast last night, I for some reason got to thinking about all of the things I've tried and all of the things I've heard about being tried to abort these attacks. It struck me that I am really frustrated, vulnerable, and willing to try almost anything if it will stop these things. So, with what humor I could gather, I came up with a few "almost cures" of my own.
Once I read that taking a hot shower at the first sign of an attack could help to abort it. So after that, when I felt one coming on, I jumped in the shower and put my head under the hot water. It wasn't going away. At that time, as happens sometimes, I peed in the shower. My headache started to go away, and was gone within 5 minutes! SO...after that, every time I felt a CH coming on, I ran to the nearest shower and peed in it! Needless to say, it didn't work. And neither my boss nor my in-laws look at me the same since.
Another time, as I was pacing the sidewalk at night, pulling my oxygen tank behind, holding one side of my head, as we do, I happened to step on a nightcrawler and squish it on the sidewalk. Wouldn't you know that my headache went away immediately after that? SO....the next morning, I ran to the local bait shop and stocked up on nightcrawlers, and when the next attack came, I quickly ran and got a worm, took it outside, and squished it on the sidewalk. No go.
And, if you can stand one more lie, once, my wife and I were in bed, with intentions of becoming intimate. I was at the time just beginning to get that "feel" of impending Beast-Dance. I decided to focus my attention on my wife and the most important issue at hand. Just about the time I started getting aroused (I'm blushing), all signs of a CH evaporated! SO....I now carry adult-oriented pictures in my billfold, and whenever I feel an attack coming on, I , well, you can imagine. That one doesn't work, either. Unfortunately, I haven't found a good reason to quit trying that one.
Stay pain-free....whatever it takes!

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