Well...


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Posted by Carl D (208.4.19.250) on May 05, 2000 at 14:40:54:

In Reply to: Hey Carl....... posted by Tracy on May 05, 2000 at 11:48:38:

It wouldn't do me any good to complain, though I have been reduced to tears in the past 24 hours without anyone having to instigate it. I chose not to post a venting message yesterday or today. Just trying to deal with it on my own - though smashing things to pieces with your fists isn't a good way of dealing with it.

Yesterday wasn't too terribly bad, but bad enough to convince me to start back on the Vicoprofen; which I have been taking too much of and am building up a tolerance to. I have decided after I run out, I need to take a break from it for awhile - which means I will really be in hell then!

Last night and today have been nuts! I had a 10+ at 2:30 this morning that lasted a whopping 2 hours straight! The Vico did nothing to ease it, and when it was over - I just sat like a basket case, crying my brains out until I finally fell asleep for a couple of hours; at which time I awoke with about an 8 that lasted about a half hour/forty five minutes.

Usually the Vicoprofen knocks the shadows completely out to where I don't even know if I am shadowing or not. It eliminates them totally; which is awesome. I enjoy the pain-free moments with great relishing.

Not today, however.

I have taken more Vico than I should have, and it has made me both groggy and queasy, but I am still shadowing!!! I am laying off the meds for the rest of the day. I have already taken my limit for a 24 hour period in just 9 hours. That is not good.

I tried to leave a somewhat humorous post today - kind of that "smiling on the outside while frowning on the inside type of thing. I'll be ok though. It's not the first time I've gone through some rough waters - and I am sure it won't be the last (oh how I've prayed for this to just be over!)

As for your Mum, yes - do take my advice. Also, you may need to just let her have it. I know that can be hard to do, but let her know that you are already dealing with more physical pain than you can handle; you don't need someone heaping more emotional stress upon you.

Well, I gotta jump off of here, I've used up my time limit for today.

Peace,
Carl D


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