Suicide and Pain and OUCH!

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Posted by Deveny ( on May 08, 2000 at 08:44:40:

My Mother has had clusters for 20 years non-stop it seems. I use to wonder how much she could take. She would stay up all night then work all day. Take care of us. The strange part was we very seldom saw mom hurt. We could hear her cry sometimes at night. Dad would tell us its ok go back to bed. If she hurt during the day she had a special box with special toys for us to play with, her headaches box. We knew that she was sick when she got out that box. We knew to play nice when she gave it to us.

It was years before we knew the pain my mom went through. Mom spent her life trying to hide the pain. She never wanted it to interfere with our lives.

Mom became really depressed when she found out she had cancer and her clusters were worst than ever coming during the day as well as night. She was having to many for her to hide. Mom tried to kill herself several times, I am sure she is glad she did not accomplish that task. My mom is now happy, she is working in the yard and cleaning house again. She is even starting to get out more. She has color in her face and has gained weight. She has no cancer but she still has clusters. She hurts during the clusters but when the pain is gone she makes up for lost time. Its good to hear mom laugh.

Mom and us give DJ and this site and all the people here CREDIT for giving her the courage to not only face clusters but cancer. She is out today with a handful of stuff she made me print out at work to pass out to Doctors offices, and any where else she can for OUCH! What a wonderful thing OUCH! Just think what it could be like for people who have clusters! Maybe if the word gets out that this pain is horrible and can destroy lives and families. That it has taken the life of some. Just maybe someone will take an interest and something will be done more research, new medicine. Maybe a cause and cure will be found. Mom said she is giving back what was given to her life. If you have not joined OUCH please take the time to do it. If it can get one person, one doctor, one drug company, one insurance company to listen then its worth $25 a year.

Now what I want to know is can I join even if I don’t have clusters?

I almost forgot my mother is Elaine.

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