Posted by Carl D (208.4.19.18) on May 15, 2000 at 09:18:56:
At some point today, I have to call my attorneys office and the Social Security Bloodsucking Administration office to find out what the deal is on the SSI/Medicaid. I would think after being unemployable for two years and finally getting disability that I would automatically qualify for it. Apparently since a judge has found in my favor for the disability, the S.S.A. is doing thier utmost to make sure I get the least amount of money to survive on! Talk about a rectum-imspired system! I have been frustrated with this all weekend and the only thing I can think of is, if they try to screw me out of SSI/Medicaid - I will get ahold of my State Representative and if necessary, file a complaint within the government. Of course, the media around here could care less about clusters - as it is not very recognizable to the general public. However, they love to report on our screwed up government, and like to do pieces on people getting reamed by the system. I just might be of use to them after all.
Man, I got sick from my meds Friday and this morning. Not sure if it is a case of taking it and lying down or what, but let me tell you - It's been a real drag. I got hit eight times yesterday from midnight to midnight - but have only been hit once since midnight. It was the usual floor pounder - 10+. Lasted an hour. Pissed me off.
I wasn't sure if I mentioned this in a previous post or not, but they diagnosed me as being a 'major depressive' last week. Who'da thunk it? I don't think it is that noticeable, do you?
They prescribed something called 'Remeron', but the prescript is around $80.00. I am not sure what is left in the medical fund Elaine set up for me, but I do know I have to keep $260.00 reserved for my specialist appointment July 18th. That is a top-priority at the moment. I've lived (barely) with depression this long, so I am trying to tough it out a little while longer. I will eventually get the medicine one way or another, and see if it helps. I would be happy if it did nothing for the depression, but by some freak of nature actually helped the CH's. That would be nice. In a roundabout way, that would be doing something for the depression in itself.
I have had alot of time by myself and have decided I do not like myself very much so I am trying to hang out with myself as little as possible. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to get rid of me, as I am always hanging around. Talk about a dilemma.
I need to try and lie down again, in an attempt to actually get some sleep of some kind. I got none the night before last, and a couple hours last night. As usual, I am tired to the extreme. If I can afford it, when I go to this specialist - I am going to give the Imitrex Injections a try (again). With any luck or twist of fate, maybe it will help this time around. I am just hoping that something eventually breaks.
Peace,
Carl D