The Meaning of Life?

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Posted by drummer ( on May 16, 2000 at 07:04:50:

I'm not sure why I have had chronic cluster headaches, for the past 16 years, and I really don't care. Mom says it's a sign. I said, "oh." I told mom this:

I have seen many signs today. Signs that have told me about the meaning of Life. I've always wondered what the meaning of Life was, and now I know, thanks to all of these signs.

I have just returned home from the store. My 2-year-old daughter and I ventured out into the world. We were all alone. My daughter and I call of this venturing – "going into the great unknown." We have done this many times. My daughter is short and I am tall. My daughter is innocent and I am guilty. My daughter's eyes have not seen much. My eyes have seen much too much. She's short – I'm tall.

When we are in the car together, going into the great unknown, I can see out the windows. She can't see out the windows, too well. She's short – I'm tall. We passed the Baptist Church. The sign on their grass said this; "Judgment Day is coming – are you ready?" I smiled and whispered to myself, "ready as I've ever been." We stopped at a Stop sign. We had to. The Stop sign said, "STOP."

Over to the left of our car was an Ambulance. The sign on the ambulance said this, "ecnalubmA." The sign was backwards, so that people could read it correctly when they looked into their mirrors. I couldn't read it correctly, because I was looking at it without a mirror. This was a bad sign for me. Luckily, I recognized the men and women, wearing the white coats that were busy beating on the chest of a guy. He was lying on the sidewalk. As I was obeying the Stop sign, they stopped their chest beating, and placed a white sheet over the side-walk-lying-guy. This was the side-walk-lying-guy's Judgment Day. He was like hide and go seek. He was ready or not.

Since it wasn't mine or my daughter's Judgment Day – we proceeded our venturing into the great unknown. We passed the Catholic Church. The sign on the grass of the Catholic Church said this; "BINGO - $3,000 prizes!" I smiled, and repeated, "Bingo!" The car in front of us had two signs on its bumper. One sign said this; "Shit Happens!" The other sign said this; "God loves you!" I smiled again, and said, "Bingo!"

I recently saw a movie about God. It turned out, at the end of the movie, that God is a beautiful, simple, and gentle woman, who likes to enter the bodies of human beings and play Skee-Ball in Hackensack, New Jersey. At the end of the movie, the main character asks God one question. The main character has watched God, run about, smell flowers, do handstands, play Skee-Ball and skip around. The main character asks God why we are placed on this Planet. God smiles a beautiful smile and gently pinches the young, main character's nose. God says, "beep", when She pinches the main character's nose, and then giggles and skips away.

My daughter and I reached our destination at the store. I was going to skip with my daughter into the store. We parked and I departed the car. I went around to help my daughter out. She didn't want to get out of the car. I don't blame her. She wanted to go home and play. I don't blame her. I wanted to go home and play, too.

This is when I realized what the meaning of Life is. The meaning of Life is this:
We are all placed on this Planet to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you differently!


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