Why me?

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Posted by Robert Weigand ( on May 25, 2000 at 19:00:44:

I knew early last evening that they would be starting again. It has been one and a half years since the last attack. This time it woke me up at four in the morning. I have always had them early to late in the evening. The attacks always went away in time for me to get some sleep. As I am typing this, tears are welling up in my eyes knowing what awaits me in a few short hours. Knowing that I have no support or understanding mate makes it that much harder to face.
I had one of "My Headaches" for the first time when I was twelve. I am now thirtyfour. It was not until I got a computer that my soon to be ex wife suggested searching the web about headaches that I realized what I had. Several doctors also have failed to diagnose what it was.
Now I sit and wait. Soon I will be sitting on the floor, trying to remove the rifle from it's case and stop the pain. I know that I will not take my life but, I like to think that my head will stop hurting for fear of a bullet. It does not.
God bless all of you who suffer and those of you who live with one of us. If there is a heaven, I will see you there. We are already living in hell now.

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