Praying to the lord for help

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Posted by JOSHUA KELLER ( on May 31, 2000 at 16:03:22:

My name is Joshua and Ive been suffering from c.h. for
about four years now. I find myself fighting depression
and desperate measures everyday. When I first started
to receive attacks I did not know what to do. No one
seemed to have ever heard about the pain I was feeling.
Finally I did some research on the internet and found a
perfect fit with cluster headaches. I have since been
seen a chiropractor and multiple other doctors who seem
not to know how to help. When I get an attack I feel if
I could just rip my eye out and crush my skull everything
would be okay. Im not taking meds right now as finding
a solution has proved more difficult that climbing a
mountain. Im only 24 years old and life already seems
to press down on me. When Im not having an attack Im
thinking about my next one. I was told that the pain
was all in my head. That it wasnt real. People told
me it was stress related or a sinus problem. None of
them could relate to the extreme pain I have to go
through. I like reading about how cluster heads loved
ones deal with the problem. I was married for four
years and my wife left me because she said she could
not experience or do the things she wanted while with
me.(another person who thought it was all in my head)
My current girlfriend is very understanding and encourageing
I dont know what I would do without her. I have heard
of a doctor named Jim Van Meter n.d. from Texas but I
cant find him. I find meditation in a dark room is very
helpful. The most helpful thing is to take a scalding
hot bath and submerse my head. Nothing really works all
the time. It seems like a scarey ride I don't like and
the bastard at the controls wont stop to let me off
until the ride comes to an abrupt halt. Please let me
know if you have any suggestions as to what I can do so
I dont feel so helpless.

thank you

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