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Posted by Sam ( on June 01, 2000 at 14:12:57:

I have been suffering from cluster headaches for about 6 years now. My headaches usually come in between April-May, and every time they come, my whole lifestyle changes. The first 3 years I was diagnosed with migraines (common among cluster patients), when they found out I had clusters; they started experimenting drugs that may prevent the attacks. For the last 3 years Mythelprednozone (not sure of the spelling) was doing a good job in stopping it, but unfortunately this year it didn't work! During my 7 day cycle on it I was free from attacks, till the last day, I had mad attacks, one after the other, to a point were I broke down with tears! I felt I was going insane :( I ended up in the ER on morphine to calm down the headaches. I'm now on a combination of painkillers, not that it stops the attacks, but it sort of weakens it.
I feel helpless and weak when I'm going through the cluster cycle. One of the things I hate showing is weakness to people. Sometimes I get a spark in my eye that an attack is about to come in public; I ignore it and pray to god that it wont come! My whole body starts sweating, my vision gets blurry, I try to keep up a straight face but its hopeless and end up sitting somewhere, putting pressure on my eye, waiting for the pain to go away and people start asking you questions! What am I going to tell them?? that I have severe headaches! As much as I try to explain to people no one can conceive or understand the pain I am going through, they think I am exaggerating, that I want them to feel pity! That's why every time I feel I'm getting an attack now I go to an isolated place so I wont be bothered!
It's sad that there is no cure for this disease and others….you think with all the technology we have we should have found a cure for everything……time is an important aspect….but then the pain we go through can let you be impatient. A cure is on its way, and all of us are waiting.....

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