Posted by Brandon (18.104.22.168) on June 17, 2000 at 02:34:51:
It has been ages since I posted, but this is not because when I am out of a cycle that I don't care about you all anymore; it is because I have to squeeze in as much work as possible when I am "healthy" to make up for all the lost time.
So I am posting now to give you all some encouragement. I have been cluster-free for 13 months now. This is not the first time I've gone so long without a cycle. The longest I went was 15 months. I usually get the clusters from Winter through Spring. Roughly mid-December to mid-May.
This time I went to my Neurologist (finally found a good one in the middle of a cycle back in the winter of 98/99) in October and he started me on a regimen of neurontin (10 a day) and calan sr (2 a day). I figured that this time, as soon as there was even the faintest sign of them coming near their usual time, that I'd nip it in the bud. So I spent an entirely cluster free Autumn, Winter, and Spring. I came of the meds in May.
I'm still doing okay, but my one fear is provoked by this: the last time I went so long without the clusters (15 months) they came back in August. Very unusual for me. They were relatively mild and only lasted about 4 weeks, also unusual for me. Then they came back that winter, December '98, and I had one of the worst cycles I have ever had.
But I digress, my point here is to give you all some hope. There are better days. Just keep thinking to yourself "I will get through this; when this is all over, I'll be pain free for at least a little while."
I know for me it is hard to climb out of the stupor, and enjoy the painless days. Clusters have a severely depressing effect on me, even when they're gone, but I am now beginning to get over it and feel that maybe, just maybe, I can beat back the demons and hopefully squeeze out one more mare free year.
Hope and remission,
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