I'm sorry you feel that way Cyndi, but..........

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Posted by Tracy ( on June 22, 2000 at 03:04:48:

In Reply to: Let's Make A Deal posted by CyndiS on June 21, 2000 at 22:15:21:

I stand by what I say.

I'm NOT bullying Carl. All I'm saying is that he is in the SAME boat as the rest of us. A LOT of people have helped Carl, a LOT of people have supported Carl (me, included). But he just goes on and on about how bad his life is.

So is EVERYONE's with CH. Our lives ALL suck in some form or another. Take Elaine and August. Now there ARE 2 people who would be more than qualified to moan about how bad their lives are. They've had serious, life-threatening, illnesses....and they STILL have CH. But do they moan about their lot? No. They help and support others. That's all I'm trying to do for Carl.

A few months ago I had a VERY bad time. I thought about committing suicide.....VERY seriously. I couldn't handle it anymore, I just wanted it all to be over. But something made me post here before I did it. Some of the posts I got were supportive and telling me to hang in there. But one, from Margi, told me to basically get a grip! She gave me a swift kick in the butt, to stop me wallowing in the old pity pot. It was that post, more than all the others, that helped me get a handle on my depression (yeah, I suffer from it too). I can't thank Margi enough for what she did that day. You would probably have posted similarly to her, as you have to me though. To you, she would have been "bullying" me. She was NOT doing that, she was doing the BEST thing she could have done for me. For that I'll always be eternally grateful.

Yeah, I still get depressed (even with taking St. Johns Wort). But I only have to remember what Margi said to pull myself up short.

At the end of the day, Cyndi, Carl IS getting a lot of help. He gets A LOT of support from this group. He may not be the richest man in the world (like I said once before though, I've yet to meet a rich CH sufferer). But he is rich in friendship. I will always be here for Carl. I consider him a friend. And sometimes being a friend means a bit of tough love. That's all. No bullying, no fights. Just support, straight talking and love, even if the person you're talking too doesn't want to hear it righ then.

I am NOT going to "fight" with you. I don't do that anymore. I am NOT "fighting" with Carl. I care about him, I want him to be all that he can be, in SPITE of the CH. With all our love and support, he will be one day.

At the end of the day, Cyndi, it comes down to a straight choice. Either IT can beat me, or I can beat IT. Period. I'd like Carl to choose the same side as me, and I'll do all I can to help him. Even being unpopular to do so. It's worth it to save a friend.

Take care and God bless,


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