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Posted by CyndiS ( on June 22, 2000 at 17:50:52:

In Reply to: Cyndi, I see you're intent on............................... posted by Tracy on June 22, 2000 at 11:43:53:

I am in no way intent on starting a "flame war" with you. No bait. No intention. No how. No way!

What I am saying is that, in my opinion, what you wrote to Carl was cruel and mean. Maybe your intentions were good but the delivery was (again, in my opinion) very insensitive.

Saying "hey, come ON...stand up" to Carl is one thing but to say, "So please give OVER with the "poor me" whinging" (what is whinging?), "we ALL SUFFER just as much as you Carl", "You don't have the patent on suffering as far as ch goes" is down right mean.

I am glad that someone was able to help you in the past and am truely happy to know that you are feeling better but please realize that this kind of approach may not be the best one to use on everyone.

You do not know what Carl (or anyone else) goes through day to day so to slam him the way you did may just be the straw that breaks the camel's back, if you know what I mean.

You posted, "I'd like Carl to choose the same side as me". If you truely care about Carl and want to help him, let him make the choice.

I have read Margi's posts and have to agree with you that many times she gave wonderful advice. I'm sure she also thought about how the recipient of the advice could/would handle her suggestions before she offered them. I think that is the step in this process that was missing yesterday.

No, I would not have posted similarly to her as I did to you so please refrain from making these kind of accusations in the future.

I am sorry that you were bullied at school and had a violent previous boyfriend. No one should have to experience these things. I, like most people in this world, have been through tough times too so we know how badly name calling, fists, illnesses, deaths and words can hurt. I don't hate you, hate your guts or feel any animosity toward you. I do, however, strongly dislike the message you sent to Carl and hope you realize that words can hurt as much or even more than a fist.

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